Spiritual Milk

Hebrews 5:11-6:2

"About this we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. ¹²For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need
milk, not solid food, ¹³for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. ¹⁴But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers
of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. ¹Therefore let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, ²and of instruction about washings, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment."

It's really hard for me when I read things like this sometimes. I know that there are many differences between this person and me, but there are many similar qualities too… I have been feeling this way for about a year. I feel like I should know so much more than I do. I have been saved for eight years now. Eight years! And I feel like there are still so many teachings I don't understand. I feel like the past half year especially, I have just felt really stuck. I don't know where to learn anymore, and I don't know how to grow here. I am not blaming anyone for the fact that I don't feel I have grown much of this time. I just desire so much more than I am getting. I feel like I have so much milk, and the milk is so good! But I really am dying to be on solid food, and to have more of it! I just don't know where to get it Maybe I am too critical (probably true). I just want a body that can pour into me… so I can in turn do the same, and be a solid vessel for my Lord and my God.

My friends have been such a blessing to me since I have been here at IU. I have my Hobart kids, Heather, Smudde, Lis, and the boy team (aka like Matt, Al, Brae and David). Without them challenge me, I have no idea where I would be… but that just doesn't seem to be enough anymore. We are all in the same place. I want to be more than just challenged… I want to be poured into. Sometimes I think about staying an extra year in Bloomington, but I don't think that is going to be the case. I am not sure what I'm gonna do yet, but I know I need somewhere to grow. I feel like the point where I am at is almost like I have hit a glass ceiling here. I even feel like I might even be sliding a bit backwards. I hate that. Like HATE it.

The Lord is good, and the Lord is sovereign. I am where I am supposed to be. One of my favorite missionaries of all time, Jim Elliot, once said, "Where ever you are, be all there." I definitely feel like I struggle with that from time to time. Right now is a pretty prime example of that. I am ready to move on to a different stage of life. I am ready to grow, and I am ready to start serving in a different way. Praise the Lord, for He is good. Pretty soon, I am going to have to be making some very important decisions with my life that very well could affect my life forever… I am not afraid of making the wrong decision. I don't believe I can do that. I just want to honor the Lord what little I have to offer him Him… My life. Without Christ, I have nothing. I am nothing. But He loves me J And His mercies make me new every day. I just can't wait to start the new chapter of my life. Who knows where it will be, and who will be in it!? All I know is it is going to be an adventure!

I like Adventures J