It's definitely been a while since my last post. It's been quite a busy last few weeks with my Nephew, Joshua, being born, and making three trips back and fourth from Maryland in three weeks. And my life has just been a little chaotic and confusing as a whole the last three weeks anyway. Needless to say, blogging turned into a less necessary thing.
Even now, this is still not going to be very long, just a quick update on life. Aside from all of the confusion, I love what the Lord is doing in my life, and I definitely feel myself drawing nearer to Him. It's been a hard semester, but trials always bring forth fruit. Praise God for that. More and more I feel I just have a burning desire to grow back in discipline. I think I went through a stage towards the end of the year last year and into last summer that I felt like I had been acting really legalistically about all of the things I was doing, so I guess instead of changing my heart, I just stopped doing them. Not a good idea if any of you all were wondering. I don't even think my heart really was legalistic about it, and I think I just freaked out because I thought it was. The bible commands that we "discipline ourselves for the purpose of godliness."(1 Timothy 4:7- NASB) I need to get back in that habit. Christ commands "Be holy, as I am holy." (1 Peter 1:16) The more I am around people who knows God's Word, and who speak it, the more I feel like it is amazing how they have all the answers and I don't. There is a reason they seemingly know everything. Because they have the Word of God stored up in their heart, so they are ready for any battle. I could site scripture after scripture, though not from memory, about why it is important to know the Word, but I still so often don't read it the way I should. I have developed a lot of bad habits... But I the Lord is my Shepherd. I should have not fear, because my path is strait, and the Lord is teaching me so much right now. It is very humbling to know how much more I need to grow, and how much more I want to do. The Lord has given me the power of self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7), I just need to use what He has given me through His Spirit.
Considering how difficult this past semester has been for me as a whole in pretty much every way, I almost feel like I am starting all the way over... and I think that is a good thing honestly. I just need to reevaluate a lot. But the Lord has me, and I am not afraid :) I am trusting in His sovereignty to work all things for my good and His glory. College is coming to a close and I have a lot of big decisions to make, but again, for the first time, I am not afraid. I am just ready to do it, haha. Where ever I go, whatever I do, whoever I do it with, the Lord is still my Rock. God is good, and in Him I will have joy. What a wonderful promise. What a wonderful Savior.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
A Spirit of Power and Self-Discipline
Thursday, November 12, 2009
God's will and Babies
What an incredible week. I can't even describe it. This is a picture of Jenny, Jace, and little baby Joshua!
My sister had a baby two days ago, and I got to watch. It was quite the process to get here (Maryland), but I made it back all the same! I even had about 7 hours to spare when I got here. Jenny's labor was about 21 hours long. She was exhausted to say the very least at the end. I know a lot of people think it's gross, but I really can't even describe to you what a miracle it is to see. I know it was exceeding painful, but I don't think I have ever had such a desire to have children and a family of my own, haha. Just watching Jenny and Jace together, and watching them hold their first little baby for the very first time. All the pain and suffering sort of melted away and she held her little baby Joshua. Oh my goodness, he is so cute! They are such amazing people. It was a little scary for a bit. When he was first born he wouldn't breath. He went without breathing for about 2 whole minutes. He is ok, they just had to show him how. : )
Other than the whole baby thing, life has been pretty wonderful. It's been hard, but wonderful. This past weekend with my sister and Jace was such an encouragement. I can't imagine what my life would be like without them. More and more, I am thinking about what I am going to be doing next year. I feel like I have been asking myself the wrong questions for a long time. So many people are always concerned about knowing God's will. Don't get me wrong, that's important, but it never had been like this before. People didn't used to have choices like we have. The picked an husband or wife from the dozen or so they had to choose from in their town. They worked for their families and supported them and cared for them. I am thankful that I have so many choices! But that also makes things much harder. I think it is so easy for people to be back and fourth about what the will of God is. They say that God called them to work for a year, then to Africa for a year, then China, then home to get married, then to marry someone, then God's will changes and you don't think it is to marry someone, then it is to move back to Indiana after you get married. I mean, I know all of those things can happen, but I feel like it is unlikely. I had a couple really good talks with Jenny and Jace about it this past weekend, and I am reading and amazing book called "Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God's Will" by Kevin DeYoung. I feel like we are all just asking ourselves the wrong questions. Instead of being like, "well, I will just do this for a little while" or "who knows, I will do this while a wait to find out what God's will is." I think the questions should be, what can I do right now that is ultimately going to serve the kingdom in the most effective way possible. I know most people are probably most effective if they keep their feet planted, build into something, and see what doors the Lord opens from there. I don't know what I am going to do next year, but I feel like I am looking at it differently than I have been in the past. I have had a bit of an off year, and I don't know if I feel like it is wise for me to teach others next year. I have never been in a place where I just felt like I was growing and being challenged all the time. When I talked to Jace about it, he was really great. He told me he thought I should either move to Asia or move somewhere were I knew I could grow and be poured into. He sees a lot of wisdom in growing first, but it's also pretty obvious that I have a heart for the nations as well. God often uses the weak to lead the strong. We'll see. I just know once I make the decision all my heart is going into it.
I feel so blessed right now. Praise God, for He is so good my friends.
